Dating in dark times

“I got a text!” exclaims Sarah at her phone.

“WHAT DOES IT SAY?!” – squeals Laila in excitement.

Now I know this sounds like part of a love island villa scene but this is actually more likely to occur nationwide not on our tv screens but to people like you and me up and down the country whilst in lockdown. With the current state of the world #stayhome, most business has been moved online, including the business of loooove.

And as the pounds on the scale increase sit idle and snack, so have the engagement and usage numbers on dating apps.

OKCupid quoted over 50million messages were sent on their site in February by people talking for the first time, and at the time were expecting even more in the month of March.

Tinder found an increase in the number of daily messages by 10-15% in the US.

Fun Fact: According to the website Business of Apps, Tinder isn’t the top choice for Americans, it is in fact match.com, whereas in the UK it is Tinder.

As Tinder is synonymous with hookups, what does that say about us brits?

Daily messages (as part of a trend in countries all over Europe increased by up to 25% in February (at the the time this article was written and this too has increased significantly) when the true implications of COVID19 began to be felt worldwide.

Tinder also noted that as an area became affected by isolation measures, increasingly new conversations were taking place, and they were also lasting longer on average. Notably, by 10-30%.

Many of the notorious dating apps have found people, that a significant number of users on the apps included humor about the virus to make them appear more comical or as an icebreaker to ask how other users are doing.

In tinder bios, where it asks the user to fill in answers to an array of different questions, for one such question, “What I’m looking for?” One such answer has been things such as Hand sanitizer or toilet roll. The most common thing found in user bios at the moment is “stay home, be safe, social distancing, wash your hands.”

So, now that we have had a look at what has changed in the world of dating and the new trends the big question is, What happens once you match?

Well, your first date will most probably be conducted on facetime or a similar video call service.

Some people may find this daunting, whilst others think this is both safer and an easier situation to leave if you’re not enjoying the date.

Some ideas that users have done and recommended, include playing games such as pictionary, watching netflix and having dinner together. One couple even shared a recipe with each other and then proceeded to both make said meal.

According to a report by the BBC, one user stated it allowed them to “Get a better look at their date’s house, which made the date intimate, on a different kind of level”.

Some apps are adapting to the isolation way of dating through the use of live streaming features.

Match has a feature called Live on its “plenty of fish service”. The live-streaming feature allows users to stream live, to find a match by leaving comments and eventually moving to private messaging.

Now, Covid19 is of course not only affecting people trying to find love, but also people already in relationships. Many of whom have returned to their family homes or are stuck in their own respective homes (some of which will be in different countries). Similarly, they too are making the best of this situation through video and telephone calls. Hoping, this storm will pass sooner rather than later.

How COVID19 affect your relationship?

Marriages and already established relationships will definitely be affected. According to one divorce lawyer in a guardian article,

“Marriages may be tested by the exceptional circumstances, but that time together could in the end help iron out more problems than it creates.”

She also went on Divorce rates increase in christmas where people are forced to spend a lot of time together. Similarly, after the war

“Shortly after world war two there was a peak in divorce rates. I do think when people go through something like this, with so much uncertainty and idea of what will happen and how long it will go on for they think life’s too short.”

Will dating be different after COVID19?

After such a long period without formally dating or doing anything physical with someone or one’s partner. There is no question there will peak in dates and hookups, (with some people already planning these post lockdowns).

For those who believe virtual dates have allowed them to be more intimate, feel less anxious or have found them to be more enjoyable than the conventional first date, this new form of first date will perhaps remain their first method of meeting potential partners. For those who did not it is likely (according to experts), that once the initial feel of freedom wears off, our dating life’s at least continue as they did before.

Let’s just hope this will be over sooner rather than later…

P.S New podcast episode out now, just search Outspoken Scientists into Spotify, Apple podcasts, Anchor, Google podcasts and any other platform you use!

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